i think im fine now.

after several days of not writing anything about anything. i finally found time to say something about what happened this week.

i saw my closest favoritest male friends again. i dont know why i feel much more comfortable when im with them. not that im having problems with my female friends from school. maybe it's just cos we have the same interests. anyway, enough about them.

back to my usual habit of writing letters and not sending them.

i miss you.  i miss you so much that i feel bad about growing farther and farther away from you. 

but just like what everybody says.. i have to give you the freedom to choose.

you dont know how much you mean to me. but i dont have the heart to heart you. do i make myself unclear? of course, i do.. always

why do i keep so much secrets?

there are things that i wouldnt want to tell you. i lie about what i really feel on certain situations. i think about you more often than usual. i dont know why. maybe im just bothered by the fact that you were unhappy. i've always wanted you to be happy. i have ignored my own needs to at least help you get the life and love you deserve. but you failed. i feel bad about it. i cant help but curse them. i curse them before i go to sleep. i wake up swearing all the time. but then again, things happen for a reason. maybe we were never really meant to be together.