i slept all day.

and when i woke up, i thought about going back to bed.

i hate that gap. strange things happen by the time i open my eyes.  sometimes, i suddenly feel abandoned by everything and everyone i have slaved for.  and then hatred attacks me again. it disappoints me when i think about how i carefully arranged my life. all my plans have gone to the trash bin called inevitability. why do things get chaotic whenever i try to be cautious?  or should i be cautious?  or am i just plain stupid?  the situation bothers me. i wonder if i even matter to those i deeply care about. what have i done to feel so insignificant? i wish i'm just getting the wrong idea.  but i'm afraid it might be the truth.

for the first time, i prefer lies.

and then i sleep again.

this is how life in a four-door apartment goes.  eventless, but never serene.

my first entry.

and it sucks. as always.

anyway.. let me tell you some things about me.

please bear with any inconsistency.. im still confused at the moment.

my name is Isolation.

and i think i have an avoidant personality disorder.  and as much as possible, i try not to think about what i really feel. i write becos i dont have exceptional verbal communication skills. i prefer gestures. eye movements. they look a lot more special. and sincere. my life is a rollercoaster with no loops. it moves fast but steady and it never goes any higher. but still, the intensity of emotions is enough to make me dizzy.

that's all for now.